Humjayega Jokes - Best Collection of Humjayega Jokes

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Humjayega, one of the best comedy character mostly used in jokes in Darjiling, Nepal and some part in India. We have hared a lot of funny jokes in his topic so today i gathered some of the best Jokes on Hum Jayega to entertain you, Enjoy...

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Some children were playing near a pond. Suddenly one of them slipped into the water. other children started shouting and people nearby gathered around the place. But none among them could be bold enough to get into the water to save the drowning boy. After a few moments, Hum Jayega was seen jumping into the water and crowd was excited. Humjayega came out with the boy and saved him from drowning.

The boy's father thanked Humjayega for his bravery and said, "You richly deserve a prize for your boldness?"

Hum Jayega said, "First tell me, who pushed me in to the water from behind?"

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One day while Hum Jayega was driving a bus, a small kid boarded his bus and sat beside him. The kid started talking with himself.

He said: If my dad was a elephant and my mom was a female elephant, I would have been a baby elephant.

Again he said: I f my dad was a horse and my mother a female horse, I would have been a baby horse.

The kid went on blurting when annoyed Hum Jayega asked:

What would you have been if your father was a drunkard and your mother a prostitute?

The kid replied: A bus driver !

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Once Hum Jayega and his two friends were sitting together. An Englishman came up and asked, hey guys, what is your favourite flowers?

One of the Hum Jayega's friend replied ,'Lotus'

'Ha, I clean my shit with that!' the Englishman jeered

The friend got angry.

Another friend replied: 'Jasmine'

'Ha I clean my shit with that!' The Englishman response

He also got angry.

The Englishman asked Hum Jayega, 'And what is your favourite flower?'

Hum Jayega replied: 'Cactus! Now clean your ass with that! "

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Hum Jayega wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than 100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective customer that it has been used sparingly.Hum Jayega liked the idea. A few weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to dispose off his car.Hum Jayega replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which has done only 30000 kms !

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Hum Jayega and a man were sitting outside a clinic. The man was crying like anything. So Hum Jayega asked, "Why are you crying?"

The man replied "I came here for blood test"

Hum Jayega " So? Are you afraid?"

The man replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this Hum Jayega started crying. The man was astonished and asked Hum Jayega, "Why are you crying?"

Hum Jayega replied, "I have come for my urine test."

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Hum Jayega proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

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Once the teacher was teaching moral science. He asked Hum Jayega's son," Kid do you know where god lives?"

Hum Jayega's son replied, "He lives in our bathroom."

Dismayed the teacher asked," What makes you say that?"

Student replied: "Because every morning my father bangs the bathroom door and shouts "Oh my god you are still there."

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Humjayega is filling up a job application. He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.

Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: 'Yes'

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Humjayega goes into a store and sees a shiny object.

He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."

Humjayega asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

Humjayega says, "I'll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.

His boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"

He said, "It's a Thermos flask."

The boss asks, "What does it do?"

He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"

Humjayega replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

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The doctor told Humjayega that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Humjayega called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

"I'm 2400 kms from home."